Prisoner

I always wondering .. 
When the true happy screaming come ?
When all that harass these tears gone away ?
I always think about my own world 
When the thing always I lead never changed 
I saw the ocean in every step 
I saw the waves are always immortal 

I always cry ... 
When that I smile for never comes real 
Even the wheels of the world and people have faded it 
I always think that life is not fair 
What's the true meaning of all these ill 
Day and night I keep scratching my head 
I always thought I was entitled on these all

I always regret ... 
When I understood what the meaning of joy and pride 
That all was a mortal times
All just a test and responsibility for a long 
Time and hope the like a cold and terrified 
I often could not continue this way 
I did not have the right to trust Him 

I always broken ... 
Expectations that away and a tough life 
Now is the heaviest time that I really aware 
I now just hoping the certainty of the next 
Is there any best precious day and time for me? 
Not to anyone I was told 
Unless to the world that I created myself

The All-seeing ... 
Please open the prison of my heart ... 
Down the light in the darkness inside 
Give a simple sweet life 
I believe your miracles 
Someday I will overtake everything in humility and self-peace 
I believe in miracles ... 
I believe ...

5 June


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Envy

 
I'm envy ...
When I saw them
Smile full of energy on stage
Free working and hanging out with people who loved
Live and express in very proudly environs
Get what they want from the hard-earned happiness
Why didn't you create me as them God?
Why?

I'm envy ...
When I saw them
Take the actions in front of the camera with the soul of art in his heart
Transfer their love to the sound and images
Walk on red carpet full of relief in the deep heart
Realizing the hopes of the past that hardly accomplished
Why didn't you make me like them God?
Why?

I'm envy ...
When I saw them
Sitting and walking in a luxury
In the family who wallow of material and satisfaction
When looked at him I feel life is really hard
Even love they can buy and make it simple
Why didn't i born as them God?
Why?

I'm envy ...
Seeing those who can get a life
From a little of what they can show
Laugh and shape the world and his own time
Many people who obviously unclear expect that
I often sick but I want at least to be like them too
Why do not you fill me with that God?
Why?

I envy and even feel this life is meaningless ...
Seeing the one i love more than everyhting destined for someone else
Tears of blood it's not enough to pay this sadness
Every second of breath I dedicate to always remember her smile
But afterwards only a bland smile that painted
I really don't know what suppose to do
Why did you turn me on while I find it's very hard God?
Why?

The day I was getting tired
The harder I cried for condition
I don't know what to live
I always try to make my own world as it for a while
though it's like slicing the heart and veins

God ...
Hear my screams.
This very lowly creature is questioning what the meaning of justice, 
What's the Meaning of life and dreams,
And what is the meaning of bliss.

11 May


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Fear


Before down to the text...

I want to cry. 
I Want to scream. 
I Want to bring back time. 
I Want God to erase the yesterday 
A natural thing but a little childish infantile 

Do i redundant if mention this thing as very heavy? 
Or do I the man who can't hold it on my shoulder? 
What's the purpose of all these punishment? 
Do I wrong if calling this unfair? 
Why should I destined all of this while someone else doesn't?

Recently I have started tryin' to realize 
I see a lot of what I did before today 
The world was sentenced as wrong to a few things 
Yes! I was murdered by small things. 
It turns out of a saying in the past that's true

Now there's nothing I think 
Now that I feel is a fear 
An anxiety of living in the time of tomorrow 
And seriously, none who tried to pull me up 
I was really a very embarrassing being

There's no strength of me at all other than a glimmer of hope 
Unless the promise of God to bring me up 
Unless the trigger to change my shit inside 
Repeatedly i prove that god always understand his human 
But many times also, I would doubt of it. 

Ah, finally I got to understand 
That there are still too many people who bear the burden far exceeds me 
But they can go ahead and through it all 
Why should I slumped in this very shallow hole? 
Storm soon definitely passed. 

But honestly, I was really feared by dawn of the next day...

 " I walk the city lonely, memories that are not passing by.
A murderer walks your streets tonight.
Forgive me for my crimes.
Don't forget that I was so young, but so scared.
In the name of God and Country "

8 May


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Divina

Seven compotition of colors charming.
The flow of water gurgling in a small peaceful river.
Dew dawn marks the day that's still given.
Twilight cloud above my unawareness.
And the little birds of the past which always fades.

Ignorance and arrogance by the blissful moment.
Negligence and gross lack of courtesy that complex.
I found I was still attached to the word naive.
I'm just a beginner who knows nothing exactly.
I was too embarrassed to remember the times.

Now is like i'm fallin' from vermillon grace. 
What I used to love turned to hates me..
Small puncture stick and pull my achilles.
I was surprised by all this twists inside.
There were long above out there The Initial long-watching me.

May prayers and tears will not be fully.
Fully paid and returns like what I hope about. 
I was covered in a solitude and loneliness. 
I just bowed and smiled a little. 
I will look more foolish if my hearts turns to the tears.

The supreme creator of all elements... 
Don't hesitate to take pride in the past. 
I would be worth calling a human when you give a black. 
For me to appreciate the meaning of the word mortal. 
But you're always slipping your support and confidence.

The creator of peace and infinity...
Is there any word up The Justice Supreme to your might?
Now I'm beginning to understand what the meaning of fear and error. 
If the opportunity shows the path for me. 
I will go through with patience and humility.

Thanks been waken me. 
Thanks been punished me. 
Thanks for loving me. 
And sorry for all the memories. 
I'm still too remember that...

You always does everything good in the end.
If it's not good,
It's not the end.

6 May


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Torture




Night, October 23th ... 
I was in a small house lakeside. 
Shortness of my breath I was coughing blood. 
Heavy rain, the sound of a wolf howl. 
A small fire that lit up when I was in pain. 
Rumble of lightning broke the noisy rush rain. 
My Chest is like going to broke.

Midnight, October 23th ... 
My eyes spurted bleeding, then heart uproar. 
I can not even scream.
I lay sobbing. 
All my veins are like going throughout 
I'm confused, I alone 
Will be what I was after this illness ends

Dawn, October 24 ... 
my body was stiff with cold. 
I was really dying.
Something had killed and taken over my body .
Something like a living presence, a very horrible.
All night I continue mad at God 
Kill me and rest me in the best place quietest

Morning, October 24...
I see my body lying shattered 
Am i dead? 
seems correct. 
once again I cry and no tears 
At least I want to finish what I started in the world 
Sorry friends, I'm go. 
Continue your happiness. 
Don't ever stop learning. 
You're the best people I have ever known. 
Thanks for the opportunity to live with you. 
Goodbye sky, wind, and twilight. :)


6 May


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Alone In Mojave



Hatred. . .
Dusk Shining and screaming.
Behind lusterless window my eyes ripped.
Me smile and let the devil calls
What I realize now is form of remorse
A smile of yesterday as a very cold dagger
Ah, I was really mad.

Harmony. . .
I was more mad at the first true smile.
Was so proud when the wind and joked around.
Somehow I missed that day.
Ah, this blood immediately blackened.
Wind noise is fuckin bothering me.
I'm tired of a human being like this.


Howl . . .
I smiled when the imagination is ridiculous
My breath shortness by their odd swear word
Sentient beings who seek adult
To hell with a gentle heart
I cry for this sudden peace
The place where no one cares me.

Hush ...
I really don't wanna see an end.
No need to try forcing me o Lord.
All the inconvenience make me alive
Forced wipe the tears and burn fake smiles
I dunno where else shelter
when no one needs me between.

Everything fades, everything comes ...
But it will get even remain immortal vengeance


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Dead


Dead ...
The Scarecrows Come Over. 
So Windy, Cold, And Terrified. 
I Feel Like An Unpresence. 
The Moon Looks So Red. 
My Eyes Bleeding. Very Smartin'.
My fingers Vibrate When The Clock Chimed. 
00: 13 

Dead ... 
Right Now Over The Bridge Crossroad.
I Really Don't Wanna Stand Up 
I Always Wanted To Feel Dying.
I Want To Destroy My head. 
I Want To Cry. 
I want To Spit The God.


Dead ...
I'm Singing My Own Hysteria.
Should Be Darker To Stab My Pulse.
Then The Sky Whisper Me.
The Ballad Of Satan That Praised Me.
At Least More Coloring My Seconds. 

Dead ...
Rain Falls And Fog Down.
My Heart Says It's Very Dense.
Each Grain Is Bugging Me.
Do I Lose?
I Don't Wanna Win From The Two-Bit Loser As They Are.
The Mouth Swearing With It's Deft.
Trash Always Forever Remain Trash.

Dead ... 
Hahahahahahaha .... 
To Hell With This Bustling World. 
Places That Available To Hurt Only. 
Who Always Claimed The Meaning Of Happiness In Patience.
I Have To Be Quick To Kill Myself.
I'm embarrassed With The Break Of Dawn. 

Dead ... 
It's Turned Out Like This When My Head Crushed. 
Dizzy But I Was Relieved. 
My blood Is Flowing And I'm Blind. 
Satan Laughed And Yelled At Me Psycho. 
Her Eyes Are Red looks Friendly. 
Glad I Could Die Like This.



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Every Day


dear Agony ...
My blood have turned on you.
On your destiny.
Why the most sublime created you so much.?
Almost no gap in the perfect of you.
Probably not enough time to tell your each details.
And almost not there

Dear agony...
Didn't you know, you were so like your name?
Every second of it always chills the blood of your smile.
Your body language is always stoppin' breathe for a moment.
But like no, you always don't let me hugged, even closer.
You always make me a unannihilated presence of limit 

Dear agony ...
You would not know.
Because of you I often mad at God.
Not with you is the injustice i often blasphemy at God.
Is there any other life?
Now or in the hell though .
Your smile, greet, anger, tears, and strength always on my mind.
And soon every time
I want to die


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Avenged Sevenfold’s M. Shadows Talks “Call of Duty” and New Song “Not Ready to Die”

After dominating last month’s Revolver Golden God Awards, both onstage and in the fan-voted awards, Avenged Sevenfold continued their road-warrior ways, departing at 6 the next morning for their Welcome to the Family tour. Despite playing shows pretty much constantly, the hard-rock goliaths managed to write a new song, called “Not Ready to Die,” earlier this year. The song is featured on Call of Duty: Black Ops, the most recent first-person shooter in the classic Call of Duty video-game series, via the latest downloadable map pack, titled “Escalation,” which is available today. As if all this wasn’t badass enough, the song is specifically featured on the pack’s zombie map, “Call of the Dead,” yet another chapter in the game’s ongoing horror storyline. M. Shadows, the band’s frontman and a Call of Duty faithful, fills us in on the song, the new zombie level, and some of his favorite video-game classics.

REVOLVER When was “Not Ready to Die” written?
M. SHADOWS We had a little break between the Nightmare After Christmas tour and the Welcome to the Family tour. So it was written, like, in four days that we had off. So it was pretty rushed. It was pretty incredible, though, because we really wanted to do it. It was written, like, a month or two ago.
What’s the song about?
Oh, well, the song is about the game. There’s a full backstory to what [the makers of Call of Duty] been doing for years with their “Zombies” series. I’m a big fan of the game, I play it all the time, so I got caught up in the story. They sent me over the full storyline, so I made sure it was going along the lines of the zombie story. So that’s what it’s about.
What do you love about Call of Duty?
I don’t know, I just love the competition of being online, and the Call of Duty series, to me, has always been just the one that you can always count on to have a great game coming out next. I love Modern Warfare 2, I loved World at War, I loved all the games. But Black Ops, to me, was so balanced and, not to completely nerd out with you, but there’s so many little things if you’re a video-game player and a first-person-shooter player that you would love about Black Ops that they improved upon from Modern Warfare 2. And if you’re looking at “Zombies,” it’s like a completely separate game. And it’s just as fun to play that as it is to play the multiplayer online. It’s one of those things where you get all this stuff wrapped up into one game. I guess that’s why I’m a big fan of it. I’ve been playingBlack Ops since the day it came out, and I still play it to this day online with my clan and stuff. So it’s fun stuff.
Throughout the franchise, is there any mission that sticks out as your favorite?
Oh, man, that’s hard to say. I really have become such a better player by playing Black Ops. So it’s probably my favorite only because I actually do really well at it, multiplayer-wise. I think for a map, my favorite would be firing range. But I’ve been into all of the games when they came out as much as I’m into this one. I’m sure when the next one comes out, I’ll be just as into that and I’ll be talking about that. So it’s really hard for me to say.
A screenshot from the "Call of the Dead" level of "Call of Duty: Black Ops"
Have you always been into video games?
Yeah, I’ve never considered myself too into video games. But now that I look back on it, me and my friends have been into video games for a long, long time. It started off with first-person shooters, it started off with 007 Golden Eye on Nintendo. Then we’d go over to my girlfriend, who now is my wife, we’d go over her house and play four-player. Get drunk all night and play Golden Eye all night. Then we moved on to Halo and Call of Duty and got all into that. But I’ve also been into Zelda and the Mortal Combat series, and all sorts of games. I’ve been into games since Day 1, so yeah, I would consider myself a pretty big gamer.
Do you guys play as a band together?
The guys play different things. I think they have a little bit less, you know, attention to video games. They’ll be like, “This is awesome.” And they’ll play it for, like, a week. I’d always make fun of [guitarist Synyster] Gates, because he’d get games and buy the strategy guide and just go right through it. And I was so anti-strategy guide. Like, why would you buy a game, if you’re being told how to beat it? Then I remember when I was having trouble beating some of the Zeldas and I would go into the store and look at the strategy guide and be like, I can’t peek in there. I can’t peek in there to tell me how to beat that part. But the guys get into stuff, but they’re on and off. Arin, the kid who’s drumming for us right now, he is really into video games. We got Fable together and we were playing that together. So we have a lot of video-game stuff in common. Now we have Mortal Combat 8, I think it is, and we’ve been playing it on the bus. So that’s been pretty cool.
Has your enjoyment of video games ever gotten out of hand?
I would say that Black Ops, to me right now, is pretty out of hand. When I’m home, I literally get on at 9 at night and don’t get off until 8 in the morning. My whole clan is the same way: We’ll just play game levels until there’re no games to be played, and then we’ll jump in the public matches and play and just mess around until 8 in the morning. So that’s pretty out of hand. My schedule is so messed up because of that game. I also built a gaming rig. A 42-inch TV with the Xbox and surround sound. A Logitech headset. I have all this crap on the road. And a lot of times the truck can’t leave because I’m sitting there playing a match. And I’ve got to wait until it’s done. And they’re like, “Really? We’re sitting here waiting on the whole crew because this guy’s playing Black Ops?” But it’s pretty out of hand to me.
What do you think of the new “Zombie” level?
I think it’s awesome. You know, it’s tough to say because I got to be play it on God mode, so I got to run around it, check it out. “Zombies” is weird, because it’s really tough to play it by yourself. A lot of it depends on what weapons you’re getting, and especially from the box. You can get something awesome and just rape, and then you can get a bunch of pistols and come out and be broke. So it’s a weird game and I like playing it with my friends online because a lot of them are better at it than I am because they’ve been playing it for years. And I’m kind of newer to “Zombies.” I’m more into playing the multiplayer maps online, so to me, I love it and it’s crazy. But the new map, it’s hard for me to say exactly what the strategy or whatever is going to be for it, but it looks really cool. There are a bunch of mini-bosses and all sorts of crazy things that I know people are going to be really excited about.
Is the level actually frightening?
It’s jumpy, yeah. I remember Resident Evil was just the scariest thing ever. I didn’t want to be playing that. I remember I was young and I didn’t want to be playing that alone in my house because the dogs would jump out at you and all sorts of crazy stuff. I think “Zombies” is the same way. I was playing with a couple buddies the other day and we got to Level 23 and it was super scary, because you have no idea where they’re coming from and you’re getting them deep down from everywhere. It’s pretty gnarly.

4 May


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