Prisoner

I always wondering .. 

When the true happy screaming come ?

When all that harass these tears gone away ?

I always think about my own world 

When the thing always I lead never changed 

I saw the ocean in every step 

I saw the waves are always immortal 

I always cry ... 

When that I smile for never comes real 

Even the wheels of the world and people have faded it 

I always think that life is not fair 

What's the true meaning of all these ill 

Day and night I keep scratching my head 

I always thought I was entitled on these all

I always regret ... 

When I understood what the meaning of joy and pride 

That all was a mortal times

All just a test and responsibility for a long 

Time and hope the like a cold and terrified 

I often could not continue this way 

I did not have the right to trust Him 

I always broken ... 

Expectations that away and a tough life 

Now is the heaviest time that I really aware 

I now just hoping the certainty of the next 

Is there any best precious day and time for me? 

Not to anyone I was told 

Unless to the world that I created myself

The All-seeing ... 

Please open the prison of my heart ... 

Down the light in the darkness inside 

Give a simple sweet life 

I believe your miracles 

Someday I will overtake everything in humility and self-peace 

I believe in miracles ... 

I believe ...

5 June

Envy

 

I'm envy ...

When I saw them

Smile full of energy on stage

Free working and hanging out with people who loved

Live and express in very proudly environs

Get what they want from the hard-earned happiness

Why didn't you create me as them God?

Why?

I'm envy ...

When I saw them

Take the actions in front of the camera with the soul of art in his heart

Transfer their love to the sound and images

Walk on red carpet full of relief in the deep heart

Realizing the hopes of the past that hardly accomplished

Why didn't you make me like them God?

Why?

I'm envy ...

When I saw them

Sitting and walking in a luxury

In the family who wallow of material and satisfaction

When looked at him I feel life is really hard

Even love they can buy and make it simple

Why didn't i born as them God?

Why?

I'm envy ...

Seeing those who can get a life

From a little of what they can show

Laugh and shape the world and his own time

Many people who obviously unclear expect that

I often sick but I want at least to be like them too

Why do not you fill me with that God?

Why?

I envy and even feel this life is meaningless ...

Seeing the one i love more than everyhting destined for someone else

Tears of blood it's not enough to pay this sadness

Every second of breath I dedicate to always remember her smile

But afterwards only a bland smile that painted

I really don't know what suppose to do

Why did you turn me on while I find it's very hard God?

Why?

The day I was getting tired

The harder I cried for condition

I don't know what to live

I always try to make my own world as it for a while

though it's like slicing the heart and veins

God ...

Hear my screams.

This very lowly creature is questioning what the meaning of justice, 

What's the Meaning of life and dreams,

And what is the meaning of bliss.

11 May

Fear

Before down to the text...

I want to cry. 

I Want to scream. 

I Want to bring back time. 

I Want God to erase the yesterday 

A natural thing but a little childish infantile 

Do i redundant if mention this thing as very heavy? 

Or do I the man who can't hold it on my shoulder? 

What's the purpose of all these punishment? 

Do I wrong if calling this unfair? 

Why should I destined all of this while someone else doesn't?

Recently I have started tryin' to realize 

I see a lot of what I did before today 

The world was sentenced as wrong to a few things 

Yes! I was murdered by small things. 

It turns out of a saying in the past that's true

Now there's nothing I think 

Now that I feel is a fear 

An anxiety of living in the time of tomorrow 

And seriously, none who tried to pull me up 

I was really a very embarrassing being

There's no strength of me at all other than a glimmer of hope 

Unless the promise of God to bring me up 

Unless the trigger to change my shit inside 

Repeatedly i prove that god always understand his human 

But many times also, I would doubt of it. 

Ah, finally I got to understand 

That there are still too many people who bear the burden far exceeds me 

But they can go ahead and through it all 

Why should I slumped in this very shallow hole? 

Storm soon definitely passed. 

But honestly, I was really feared by dawn of the next day...

 " I walk the city lonely, memories that are not passing by.

A murderer walks your streets tonight.
Forgive me for my crimes.
Don't forget that I was so young, but so scared.
In the name of God and Country "

8 May

Divina

Seven compotition of colors charming.

The flow of water gurgling in a small peaceful river.

Dew dawn marks the day that's still given.

Twilight cloud above my unawareness.

And the little birds of the past which always fades.

Ignorance and arrogance by the blissful moment.

Negligence and gross lack of courtesy that complex.

I found I was still attached to the word naive.

I'm just a beginner who knows nothing exactly.

I was too embarrassed to remember the times.

Now is like i'm fallin' from vermillon grace. 

What I used to love turned to hates me..

Small puncture stick and pull my achilles.

I was surprised by all this twists inside.

There were long above out there The Initial long-watching me.

May prayers and tears will not be fully.

Fully paid and returns like what I hope about. 

I was covered in a solitude and loneliness. 

I just bowed and smiled a little. 

I will look more foolish if my hearts turns to the tears.

The supreme creator of all elements... 

Don't hesitate to take pride in the past. 

I would be worth calling a human when you give a black. 

For me to appreciate the meaning of the word mortal. 

But you're always slipping your support and confidence.

The creator of peace and infinity...

Is there any word up The Justice Supreme to your might?

Now I'm beginning to understand what the meaning of fear and error. 

If the opportunity shows the path for me. 

I will go through with patience and humility.

Thanks been waken me. 

Thanks been punished me. 

Thanks for loving me. 

And sorry for all the memories. 

I'm still too remember that...

You always does everything good in the end.

If it's not good,

It's not the end.

6 May

Torture

Night, October 23th ... 

I was in a small house lakeside. 

Shortness of my breath I was coughing blood. 

Heavy rain, the sound of a wolf howl. 

A small fire that lit up when I was in pain. 

Rumble of lightning broke the noisy rush rain. 

My Chest is like going to broke.

Midnight, October 23th ... 

My eyes spurted bleeding, then heart uproar. 

I can not even scream.

I lay sobbing. 

All my veins are like going throughout 

I'm confused, I alone 

Will be what I was after this illness ends

Dawn, October 24 ... 

my body was stiff with cold. 

I was really dying.

Something had killed and taken over my body .

Something like a living presence, a very horrible.

All night I continue mad at God 

Kill me and rest me in the best place quietest

Morning, October 24...

I see my body lying shattered 

Am i dead? 

seems correct. 

once again I cry and no tears 

At least I want to finish what I started in the world 

Sorry friends, I'm go. 

Continue your happiness. 

Don't ever stop learning. 

You're the best people I have ever known. 

Thanks for the opportunity to live with you. 

Goodbye sky, wind, and twilight. :)

6 May

Alone In Mojave

Hatred. . .

Dusk Shining and screaming.

Behind lusterless window my eyes ripped.

Me smile and let the devil calls

What I realize now is form of remorse

A smile of yesterday as a very cold dagger

Ah, I was really mad.

Harmony. . .

I was more mad at the first true smile.

Was so proud when the wind and joked around.

Somehow I missed that day.

Ah, this blood immediately blackened.

Wind noise is fuckin bothering me.

I'm tired of a human being like this.

Howl . . .

I smiled when the imagination is ridiculous

My breath shortness by their odd swear word

Sentient beings who seek adult

To hell with a gentle heart

I cry for this sudden peace

The place where no one cares me.

Hush ...

I really don't wanna see an end.

No need to try forcing me o Lord.

All the inconvenience make me alive

Forced wipe the tears and burn fake smiles

I dunno where else shelter

when no one needs me between.

Everything fades, everything comes ...

But it will get even remain immortal vengeance

Dead

Dead ...

The Scarecrows Come Over. 

So Windy, Cold, And Terrified. 

I Feel Like An Unpresence. 

The Moon Looks So Red. 

My Eyes Bleeding. Very Smartin'.

My fingers Vibrate When The Clock Chimed. 

00: 13 

Dead ... 

Right Now Over The Bridge Crossroad.

I Really Don't Wanna Stand Up 

I Always Wanted To Feel Dying.

I Want To Destroy My head. 

I Want To Cry. 

I want To Spit The God.

Dead ...

I'm Singing My Own Hysteria.

Should Be Darker To Stab My Pulse.

Then The Sky Whisper Me.

The Ballad Of Satan That Praised Me.

At Least More Coloring My Seconds. 

Dead ...

Rain Falls And Fog Down.

My Heart Says It's Very Dense.

Each Grain Is Bugging Me.

Do I Lose?

I Don't Wanna Win From The Two-Bit Loser As They Are.

The Mouth Swearing With It's Deft.

Trash Always Forever Remain Trash.

Dead ... 

Hahahahahahaha .... 

To Hell With This Bustling World. 

Places That Available To Hurt Only. 

Who Always Claimed The Meaning Of Happiness In Patience.

I Have To Be Quick To Kill Myself.

I'm embarrassed With The Break Of Dawn. 

Dead ... 

It's Turned Out Like This When My Head Crushed. 

Dizzy But I Was Relieved. 

My blood Is Flowing And I'm Blind. 

Satan Laughed And Yelled At Me Psycho. 

Her Eyes Are Red looks Friendly. 

Glad I Could Die Like This.